1. |
Learning This Heart
03:26
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Erasing memories from the streets of your mind
This cobblestone once stained is clear again
Burning down forests of feelings that can’t be shook
The ashes rejuvenate the soil and new feelings grow
Can you grow into loving me just as I am
The boring, the tame, insecure boy, not yet a man
And if I lie it’s because that I am still afraid
Afraid of you finding out that you can do better
Cuz you can do better, yeah
You could do better
Oh, take it from me
I am not much of anything
There’s no future stability
There’s no future family
Cuz I am just a kid
who’s just running everywhere
But I don’t even know where
Or which way I am running!
Can’t this stupid heart just quit beating
Can’t this stupid kid just stop loving
I’ve messed up before
And I’ll mess up again
I’ve fucked up before
And I’ll fuck up again
I’ll fuck up again
Yeah, I'll fuck up again and again
But you’re still here
My partner in crime
Could we fuck this world
and have a good time
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2. |
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I am gonna cover you with kisses
But if you wanna cover me in stitches
Well it’s alright yeah it’s alright, it’s all right
I wanna learn all your scars
And I wanna go to all the bars
Where you lost your mind, you lost your mind, you're losing your goddamn mind
And I wanna learn all your folklore
There’s something about you I can’t ignore
Smelling like clementines all the time, you're smelling like clementines all the time
Stealing all your clothes that smell like you
I wanna remember you even though we’re through
But I am gonna learn, learn to let it go
You don’t even call me back now
And I don’t even call you back now
And our answering machines they collect dust
And I try to sing loud
But I can’t even open my own mouth
To let out a sound
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3. |
Recluse
02:01
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Recluse
I’ve turned away from the world of man
Stepped back from drinking to work on a plan
So many years of
lost memories
So many years of
empty apologies
Yes I work better as a loner
But I like playing house like a homemaker
And all this social anxiety
Keeps me inside for my safety
And I know it might seem so selfish
But these quiet nights I do relish
I am digging this life as a hermit
Can’t wait until I am completely transparent
Nothing wrong with a little
Isolation
Enough with all that
Self-destruction
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4. |
Parents Love Song
03:01
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After all the drugs I’ve done am I still your little one
The one you sang to, same one you watched grow
After all these years of ups and downs
A parents love is something that I know
Sure its hard to keep relations
Bur some ships have sailed, some things have failed
But I know there will always be a place
In your heart for me, with or without a degree
Riding bikes again, like I am still ten
Drink this hard cider cuz it makes me feel older
Can’t just play the day away cuz there’s hard work to get done
Grown up so much, in this body and head
I think I’ve learned some but i know still act dumb
In your eyes can you still see your good son
Sure its hard to keep relations
Cuz some ships have sailed, some things have failed
But I know that there will always be a place
In your heart for me, with or without a degree
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5. |
Natural Born Failure
02:04
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I was a strummer
And I was a drinker
But I wasn’t too much
Of a good thinker
I stumbled through lines
That I could barely remember
Then I’d rush off to lines
That made me feel better
Stuck in personal politics
Left in my mind
So many things in the past
I couldn’t leave behind
Tried to live up to some
sort of potential
but it just wasn’t my thing
it wasn’t natural
Natural born failure
Dumb and reckless
They gave him a part
And he chose to leave this
It is so much easier
Being alone, boys
You can just sit back and
Listen to that white noise
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6. |
Want and Love
05:53
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Horses trotting along on paved back roads so
Hearing their horseshoe beat dancing up to your window
I’ve never slept in a bed this small
And I’ve never felt like a giant so big and so tall
Wonder if we could get drunk and hijack an Amish buggy
A lantern lit stroll with you would be so lovely
You fill me with so many ideas my brains like a beehive
Lying next to you makes me feel good about being alive
I know this world can be tough and overwhelming
And sometimes all there is to do is some mind numbing
But we’re not dumb and we’re still not too old
We’re the best two kids living in the icy cold
I will be there for you through everything
So don’t die on me or I won’t buy you a ring
I promise to open my ears and my mouth so true
So excited for all the things that we have left to see and do
I just want you
To be happy
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7. |
Get Gotten
03:42
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What does Texas got
That I don’t got
What is it you need
Cuz I must have forgot
Are you just bored
And too anxious
Patience is wearing
And life is ridiculous
Oh no, I think I spoiled it again
I am driving backwards to where it began
Preoccupied with the rear view mirror
And I forgot how to steer
Heard you’re the reason why bad things happen
Do you know why all my good days keep on slipping
Is this bad karma or the work of some demon
I am so exhausted of being messed up and always gone
All the answers to life aren’t known
This state is blooming with so much change
Our future comes with the morning
You don’t have to be depressed anymore
You don’t have to be depressed anymore
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8. |
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I am too inebriated
To get you impregnated
Even if I tried
But when I am cremated
Make sure it’s celebrated
Even though I died
Going on twenty seven years
And I am through with all those fears
Cuz I am who I am suppose to be
Turned into a man-child
But get some drinks then go wild
Sometimes I forget the man within me
Growing older
Growing wiser
I am too inebriated
To get you impregnated
Even if I tried
But when I am cremated
Make sure it’s celebrated
Even though I died
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9. |
Scattered Marbles
03:54
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My teeth are like scattered marbles
Busted through shaken down
I am so shaken up
I can’t get myself up off the ground
My head’s still ringing but
I can only see her screaming and a crying
I feel so dizzy, I forget to breathe
Don’t even realize what’s become of me
Then the sobering wall of pain
Just beats all on me
I am so horrified
This has got to be a dream or a lie
Why oh why
Why oh why
Did I choose to be a fool
Why oh why
Why oh why
Did I loose my cool
No Chris this is reality
This is actually happening
It felt just like a movie
But all I could see were stars
I was ready to be
Buried right then and there
I was so ashamed of myself
I felt so weak, I couldn’t even move
But these things happen
And I will move on
But there’s still this chorus ringing in my head
And it goes, it goes, it goes
Why oh why
Why oh why
Did I loose my cool
Why oh why
Why oh why
Did I act a fool
I wish I could travel back in time and say Chris shut up and keep on walking
But that didn’t happen and I was beat to the ground there laying
And the next day my father and I looked for my teeth and looked but we couldn’t find them there so they stay
I wonder if they’re buried there
Maybe like a little seeds
Planted in the grass
I’ll walk on by some day
And there will be a tree there
There will be three Chris’s waving a friendly "hello"
With a big ol’ smile
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10. |
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I don’t want to be a singer
I just want to be me
I don’t want to be a rock n roller
I just want to be me
I don’t wanna be a book keeper
I just want to be me
I don’t wanna your stranger
I wanna be me
And as lame as I can be
Reading comic books
And giving dirty looks
I just want to be me
I am just gonna be free
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11. |
Hollering
01:17
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I wonder…could I grow a little older
I wonder… could I become a shaman warrior
I wonder… could I be a seasick sailor
I wonder… could I lay with an alligator
I wonder… could I question my creator
I wonder… could I get lifted in an elevator
I wonder… could I kiss a prize bullfighter
I wonder… could I do anything sides holler
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12. |
Weird Sweetness
04:40
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Sailing through the ocean blue
Wonderin’ whatchu gonna do
When there ain’t even a port when you get back
Could read me like an old fashioned novel
But it is just so goddamn awful
That you ain’t even gonna pick up the cliff notes
Dialing numbers you can’t speak
Haven’t heard from you in weeks
Did ya forget my digits or did ya drop my calls
A beautiful dancer with fiery hair
Showed me kindness, yeah some people still care
But I feel so lost now and without a home
But there’s a weird sweetness
In not knowing
I couldn’t bring myself to suicide
So now I live in the words I’ve lied
Can’t take them back, can’t take it all back but I will try
And I’ve fucked up and I am shit out of luck
But right when I think I can’t get unstuck
Someone’s always there to slap me with some sense
And I don’t want you to hear that I am sad
That I was hospitalized cuz I hurt myself bad
But once I get my feelings in check I’ll give you call
Sure as hell don’t know where I am heading
And some people say that I am barely living
But this battle of hope and hopelessness is fine for now
There’s a weird sweetness
In not knowing
Sometimes I forget about all the things I have done
Accomplishments and squandered opportunities become one
I must be a fool
My heart has a home
But there's a weird sweetness
In not knowing
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13. |
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Adrian Aardvark Plattsburgh, New York
Adirondack mountain electric freak folk
email:
adrianaardvark@gmail.com
Adrian Aardvark recommends:
Finally: Half Asleep in a Blue Dress (demos)
by The Veldt
The Veldt, aka Sarah Mundy, is one of the most talented songwriters to come out of Plattsburgh, New York. Using her own brutal honesty and life experiences to craft these poetic songs.
go to album
Lemon Gold & The Sneaky Snakes Vol. 1
by Lemon Gold & the Sneaky Snakes
Ethan Rice's collage opus out on vinyl. A musical safari to be enjoyed by all sound adventurers.
go to album
PHASED OUT
by Our Holy Orgasmic Cosmic Rays
A supergroup with band members from Shameless Strangers, TPR, Adrian Aardvark, Lucid, Wet Poopy Nurses, and many more! Open your third eye and get wiggly!
go to albumIf you like Adrian Aardvark, you may also like:
This Bay-Area based band offer modern indie songs with intertwining harmonies and searching refrains.
go to album
The Whole Pulse
by Lightning Cult
In songs that swing from giant and anthemic to distortion-caked and widescreen, Lightning Cult conjure galaxies of sound.
go to album
The Los Angeles-based indie rock artist's first full-length album is inspired by songwriters like Glen Campbell and George Harrison.
go to album
