Isn't Forever

by Adrian Aardvark



Long nights that seemed like they would never end, finally did on the completion of this album. Happy New Year's.


released December 29, 2009



all rights reserved


Adrian Aardvark Plattsburgh, New York

Punks, poets, freaks and classically trained musicians make psychedelic grunge folk art together.

Years of struggling with distractions like drugs/alcohol, unrequited love, and overwhelming thoughts of life being so unbelievably complex (how is it even possible that life even happens at all?) there is joy once again while still staying true blue.
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Track Name: Afford This
Can I afford this
Can I afford this
Pain and misery
Pain and misery

Torture somebody else
Torture somebody else
Please let me be
Please let me be
Track Name: Innocent Love Pt. 2
And you fall in love too fast
And you get hurt too often
Don’t say it’s your fault
Just cuz your heart hasn’t hardened
Marriage dreams fall apart and fade away
Just like these torn up photographs
You can almost still hear it
These rooms use to be filled with laughs
Reading forbidden diary entries
All this knowledge still get you no where
And is nothing left sacred anymore
In a world where lovers just move on and on and on and on
Not even stopping for a moment to breathe
Not even stopping for a moment to breathe
Or even a moment to grow or learn

I can’t hold onto anything
I can’t hold onto anything
And I realize that there is nothing
Stopping me
Track Name: Long Leather Wings
Swimming in dark water
With long leather wings
But those aren’t wings
Those are alligators
Pulling you down to their bed
Track Name: Textiles
I’ve studied your face on computer screens
And your words fall to me through text
Blogging about your day and your thoughts
But there are no thoughts of me or sex
Sexy looks deleted like blacked out memories
Could of known, should have known
These feelings will pass
Just like all the drugs we’ve blown
Track Name: Heartbeats
I walk through graveyards to cash paychecks
Just so I can be reminded that in the end
Money is meaningless
The only thing that keeps its meaning
Is whom you surround yourself with
Be it family, friends or lovers
And oh father, I have deep fear of hopelessness
But thus far my heart is full of hope
And hold your tongue before you call me foolish
Because I am well aware of the years soaked in bitterness that lay before me
But I am too young to be held down
I have all these dreams and love to give
And why shouldn’t I
Just because the world has tried to crush these dreams and beat this love
But the only thing the world’s done is made me crush harder
and the beat I make is the beat I groove to
Same one I love true
So, I walk through graveyards to cash paychecks
Just so I can be reminded that in the end
Money is meaningless

Your heartbeat moves my feet
Cuz your beat is super sweet

Your heartbeat is the only percussion I need
Track Name: Baby Cheetah
Sick baby cheetah bumped her head
Snuggled down in her coat that’s red
And talking ‘bout dolphins with breast implants
Hording stolen bacon, getting caught in rants
Can’t these tickle wars just last forever
Can’t this spooning just go on forever
Do you feel it too?
Do you feel it too?
Or have you just lost the feeling?
Track Name: Crushed
I am all knees and dog bites with starving tapeworms lately
And dinner dates with Hannah Blackfoot keep getting put off indefinitely
Riverbeds hiding out my drowning tunes of mixed beauty and apathy
Sick from selling the youth everything from self-destruction, sexual perversions and bigotry
Track Name: Crushing
Baby boy keeps on sobbing into lonely red pea coats
And there are so many tears, we should all jump into boats
Sick baby cheetah’s whiskey breath, keeps on passing out hickeys
Shredding through pale skin in the dark, like blowin right through tissues when you sneeze

Slowly sippin down on some fine fine fine mint juleps
And all I really want to do is kiss your tender wet lips
Wondering where oh where did that pesky beard of mine run on off to
Remember how much loving grooming and combing it now, but then I never had a clue

Baby boy might stop crushin if he’d stop drinking but that’s only if he could
Pretending with paper dolls, making him and her and her and him love ‘em like they should
Pity parties and alcohol poisoning keep popping up like unwanted zits
Throwing off your schedule and making you bug out in anxiety fits

Piano notes are still buzzing around in wide open ears
And past baggage and insecurities keep on feeding your own fears
Tangled body parts in a lover’s bed feels just like a noose when it’s not your parts
And in the end the only thing that gets hung out to dry is your own wounded heart
Track Name: Don't Wanna
I don’t wanna eat no more
I don’t wanna eat no more
I wanna start looking for what I am for

I don’t wanna drink no more
I don’t wanna drink no more
I wanna begin to see what I am looking for

I don’t wanna fuck no more
I don’t wanna fuck no more
I wanna love again like I did before

I don’t wanna die no more
I don’t wanna die no more
I wanna live life until I am sore
Track Name: Being Human
Designer drugs and warm tea
Helps me feel better about me
And all the things that I’ve done
Seem less tragic and more fun

I don’t want to regret
All the lovers I’ve met
I meant every kiss placed
Still remember every taste

Darling, please stay
Don’t leave, just sleep

Living in faulty stability
Feeling useless and ugly
I am not even a gentleman

Caught up in my own lust
I threw away your trust
Guilt has sunken in again
I hate being a human

Darling, please leave
Don’t stay, never come here